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Postby scooter » Mon 25 Jun, 2012 12:22 pm

HELP, I am at my wits end with one of my twin boys now 3.5yrs. One I consider to be 'normal', but the other is proving to be very difficult. :( He appears to have a split personality, ie tantrums one minute, then fine the next. He is a tad OCD (wants the cereal container placed THAT way, and the milk THAT way). He is very demanding also, he wants you to STAND THERE, or we have to go THAT WAY. Gets very upset if his routine is NOT RIGHT. Seems to be very attached to me. Does not sleep well. Driving me nuts as he only seems to do this with me and not with Dad??? Is there something wrong with him or is he just playing me. The other twin sleeps great and does not do these weird things. Any advise would be appreciated as I am about to book an appointment to see a shrink.
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Postby NgalaOnline » Fri 29 Jun, 2012 9:15 pm

Hi Scooter, you seem to have been coping with a very demanding little boy who obviously sees you as his safe base which is great but as you say you are now wondering what is ‘normal’ and what is just this child’s behaviour. However on a positive note as you say he only seems to behave this way with you. It sounds like it would be beneficial to have a more detailed discussion with a health professional; Child Health nurse and or Family Doctor to look at what may be driving his behaviour when he is with you and to rule out possible health or developmental issues that may be contributing to his behaviour. Further support with helping you little boy sleep could greatly help his behaviour in the day. Often we can unintentionally be reinforcing a child’s behaviour in a certain way that can then become a habit for them in for example certain situations or with certain people. Keeping a daily diary can be a start in trying to look at behaviour in a wider context e.g. daily activities; eating, sleep, play, this can also help identify possible triggers to your little boy’s behaviour, such as tiredness as you mention he does not sleep well, hunger, attention seeking and even frustration trying to do certain activities e.g. dressing, toileting, eating, playing, socialising and communication. Gathering such information can be helpful when talking to health professionals as you seek support to help your little boy not feel so as you say demanding of you.

Parents can find talking to other parents with twins useful in exploring and normalising common themes such as behaviour with twins, not forgetting your little boy’s twin brother who also plays a part in how he and his twin behave and interact in the world. Contacting your local Multiple Birth Association may be helpful to access support with your twins if you haven’t already. The following link for Australia is , within this link there are some useful resources, books, DVDs that you might find helpful ... tiples.htm

Contacting your local Parenting Helpline or if you reside in West Australia the Ngala Helpline could offer a more detailed discussion around this issue and ways to seek local supports and resources.
This information is general in nature and should not be used as a substitute for the personalized assistance that can be received from the Ngala Helpline by telephone.

For families residing in Western Australia you can also contact the
Ngala Helpline
Telephone 9368 9368 or 1800 111 546 for country access
Available 7 days a week, 8am to 8pm
or request a callback online

For helplines in other Australian states please follow this link
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